I miss you.

The fun in being Bicoastal is the option to go back and forth.. always having the best of both words, never having to miss anything or anyone. 

I moved to Colorado when I was 22 for a little under a year. I loved Colorado so fiercely. I made a lot of friends fast... adopted them from a good friend. I got a little internship that was really fun and met another fun crazy group of music lovers. One soul mate sister who I haven't seen now in over a year... it's hard when you leave a place because you can't go back. It will never stay how you left it.

I took this picture the moment I decided to move to Colorado... I had no other choice :)

The funny thing about life is that you are only one person in the big crazy game of life on this huge planet... you're moving and thinking and living and millions and billions of people are doing the same thing at the same time. You meet people and take parts of them with you forever. Yet you will never ever have the same exact experience again. You will have beautiful moments but they go by so fast. You'll never get the moments back. You will never get to stand still with every single person ever again. 

It's beautiful to live and move and travel and meet people... but the sadness in it is that then you have to miss them. The thought of it takes me breath away.

Right now I feel my heart crushing me. I'm "home" but there is no such thing for me. I love being here in California, sitting on a bed I've slept in hundreds of nights... with my dog at my feet. Yet I miss my sister, 20 miles away. I miss my girlfriends because it's to late to wake them with silly thoughts or ask them to hold me while I sleep. I miss the lover who is no longer mine. Who still sleeps in my bed in my room with all of my things 3,000 miles away from here. 

I miss you.

I'm having a hard time right now dealing with distance and the things that I have decided to do. I love that I've lived... but it's really hard to have to miss people. I guess it's good to have people that you love so much that hold a part of you. Appreciate every moment and hold on to it.

10 things...Thursday

This week I missed my Tuesday deadline... I've luckily had a busy week so Monday was spent working with my friend Laura at her booth at a stationary trade show, it was very exciting, many good things to come. Tuesday I had a second interview/trial workday at a new job and then straight over to Gramercy to see Stone Temple Pilots. So here is my 10 thing list for the week. I am thinking of also turning it part into a bucket list a la MTV's The Buried Life. We'll see how I feel next week :) Lots of stuff going on.... stay tuned.

1. I made my dad wait in line for a rollercoaster for more than an hour then was too scared to go on. 

2. I've recorded at 311's studio.

3. I've been in an ambulance twice. 

4. I got my dog on 3/11/05. 

5. I sat onstage during an STP club show.

6. I crashed a snowmobile in the backwoods of Colorado. 

7. I have a sixth sense when it comes to judging character. 

8. I've traveled to another state, alone, to see 311. (and Incubus.)

9.  Michael Vartan once parked next to met at a grocery store lot. He met his fiance the same way.


10. I've climbed the Pyramid of the Sun & Moon outside of Mexico City.

10 Things Tuesday

So in my 25 years of life, I have actually been able to do some really crazy, random/awesome things along the way. I sometimes forget or don't think of them often so I want to start making a little list for myself so that I can hold onto these memories and maybe do something with them one day. I've been really lucky, really blessed... and the one reason why I want to write about it is like I said, so I can remember them... and sharing can be taken two ways, it's really a positive thing not to be taken as bragging at all. So please, if you're going to comment, be polite! I'm only going to write my list of 10 and if anyone wants to know the crazy backstory, I can do that either in the comments or another post, so just ask! I think it's fun to be able to do all the things you have access to in this world and it's also exciting to be able to relive and share these adventures. 

Enjoy :)

1. My first concert was an Alanis Morrisette radio contest. 

2. ...but my first concert was supposed to be No Doubt :(

3. I fell in love with Colorado and lived there for about a year.

4. ...I moved back (to LA) because I was invited to Stone Temple Pilot's reunion show in 2008.

5. I've seen 311 live in more than 10 states. 

6. ...I met my boyfriend in Memphis when we were both in town for a show.

7. I once held hands with Mark McGrath. 

8. I snuck into my first Coachella in 2004...

9. ...and I skipped Radiohead's set for a tent set.

10. I was once locked into a venue after it closed.

...wanna know how? Just ask! I'll add another 10 next week. Tune in :)

Today in history...

2001.

I was 16. I was finishing my sophmore year of high school, and super-mega-crazy obsessed with Stone Temple Pilots and 311 (surprise surprise!) and this day was just about The. Biggest. Day. Ever!

Somehow, the planets aligned and the CD release dates of my two all time faves fell on the same day. I remember getting out of school, driving to the store, and buying both From Chaos and Shangri-La Dee Da and completely overflowing with ecstasy. I listened to 311 in the car then got home and laid on my bed and cranked up the STP cd. 

311's 6th album and Stone Temple Pilots's 5th... and final :( but  supposedly...maaaaybe, right now, they are recording another one. I am not holding my breath! 

Last year, I had the shock/pleasure of my (still-17-year-old-mind's) life when STP reunited and I was invited to their reunion show. INVITED! it was insane. I quit my job in Colorado, packed all my shit and moved back to LA in the span of a week and a half. Probably insane, but it was really a once in a lifetime thing to be bused up to Houdini's house and see STP's first show in yeaaars. And it was beyond completely amazing. It was so great, so magical. They played Lady Picture Show and I cried. During Trippin' I had to go into the bathroom and call a friend and cry. Totally mortifying, I really was a teenager that night. 

Here's a few pics, I didn't want to post too many:

Another great STP/311 coincidence happened last year. I practically had a heart attack. (yes, I am the. biggest. loser. on. the. planet.) 311 played Red Rocks on July 1 and STP played Red Rocks on July 2. !!! Red Rocks is practically my favorite venue on the planet. It alone is magic, but throw in my two favorite bands ever, for 10 years and forever on, I am happy. Ecstatic :) Maybe I'm easy to please. I do appreciate the little things in life.

Oh and BTW, I was on TV when 311 was on Jimmy Kimmel a few weeks back. It's going to rerun *Monday night but here's a teaser :)

Today in history...

Today more than ever I regret moving out of Colorado. Today will be a day I will always remember as well as millions of others I hope. It's the 45th anniversary of MLK Jr's "I Have A Dream" speech, and in Denver, CO in a few hours, Barack Obama will formally accept the Democratic nomination for President.


I can't even tell you how many times I drove by Invesco Field when I was living in Colorado. It's a massive, gorgeous sight. I love downtown Denver. I loved Rocktober going down to celebrate Rockies games. I miss all that stuff so much. I can't even imagine how crazy and exciting the energy must be down there right now. I am really bummed to say the least...

But at least we have made it this far! :)




On a related note, I bought a bunch of Obama gear at Lollapalooza and unfortunately, some retard stole the Obama magnet off of my sisters car! :( At least I hope they are Obama supporters and put it to good use.