Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Time to kick butt

I'm back.  I was thinking of folding up the blog because of some bullying and such I was getting, but after some time off and consideration I don't really care. I say what I feel and I don't need to hide who I am.


Tomorrow, it's time to get down to business. 

These last six month have been pretty intense. Good, bad, sad, emotional... I've never really felt all of these emotions or learned so much about myself, my life and the people around me. I've had a lot of moments of happiness in the saddest part of my life. I don't know how much faith I have but I do believe that things happen for a reason and even the hardest things are things we should value, appreciate and grow from.

Now, it's time to really make changes. I need to get back in my happy place, mind AND body... I totally read (listened) to Eat Pray Love and got the new Kings of Leon CD in the same day. The end of Eat Pray Love made me so happy I wanted to call everyone I've ever met and tell them I love them. The KoL CD makes me yearn for and desire every ex-love I've ever had. I wept listening to "The Face" WEPT! I called my ex to tell him that I think he's amazing and special and beautiful and I still want really good things for him, always. I don't want to say more than that because I am in a good place with that. I respect and love the time we spent together. I can't think about the what if's anymore. I'm happy now, today, in my heart. I even had the healed heart to form a crush. I totally blew it and disappointed myself but it knocked me on my ass but also showed me that there is potential out there. I will find someone to laugh, dance and adventure with. And until then, I have some amazing people to be with and dance with and cuddle with and adventure with. 

So, back to TOMORROW! I bought myself a month unlimited Boot Camp!! I'm really scared. I'm not at all good at getting up early. I'm really bad at going to bed (it's already past midnight...ugh) BUT! I really want to do this but mostly I think I really need to do this.

snaps of the last time I was comfortable in my skin...

 fun/ideal body type goals...
gaga's sexuality, kate's arms, beyonce's legs...

So tomorrow the journey begins to be comfortable and happy in my skin. I know what parts of me I love yet it baffles me when I feel at my worst and I STILL get hit on. It does happen. So now I am going after the body that I've missed. I want to feel healthy and sexy and most importantly comfortable in my skin. 

^I am excited to eat A LOT OF THIS. Salmon, cherry tom's &
trader joe's spinach, raspberry&walnut salad. I do love to eat but
I am more &more aware of the things I should eat. Funny it took 
me a quarter of a century to fall for tomatoes &tom juice. Blame
my love of bloody mary's ;)I will report back tomorrow&OFTEN!

Wish me luck.xo