Friday, September 11, 2009

New York, NY

Where do I start? Goddamn, here it goes. A year ago, I was falling for this guy who I'd been crushing on for years. It wasn't supposed to go anywhere. He was a bad boy and he resisted us... even though I knew he cared. How many times before that feeeeling had come back to bite me... I cannot tell you, I don't even want to think or admit it! 

But... this crush and that friendship and my faith proved to be good things. I love this man and this man loves me. I am happy to call him my best friend and my love. I am not scared to be with him, I believe in him, I enjoy every moment with him. I adore him. And to be honest, I don't know how I did it, but sometimes I really think he now loves me more than I love him. And I fell first! It's beautiful to have someone mirror what you're feeling, every moment. 

So here I go again. This time, I'm not alone. I didn't really consider moving to Maryland because there wasn't much for me other than this man. Circumstances changed, and in a bittersweet way, WE are ending up in New York City. I am really nervous/happy/excited/scared/sad/ecstatic. Nervous because it's so big, it's so bright, it's so massive! Happy because I can't wait to be with this man, every day, every night. Excited because it's NEW YORK CITY!!!! Land of Sex And The City... THE CITY!! It's massive and amazing and beautiful and there's sooo much at our fingertips. Scared because it's a huge step, a leap of faith, a new place, a new life... Sad because I'm going to miss my dog, my sister, my parents, my life, my car, my friends, my city... Ecstatic because... NYC!!!!!! 

When shit hit the fan, I know it was going to be do or die. I wanted to do. But I wasn't planning on do-ing anything this soon. I was thinking I'd ease into a move and leave Los Angeles by October. September is such a big month and there's so much to do! But when we went to NYC over a weekend to look at places, I had a job interview and offer so amazing I could not pass up. 

So here we are. My heart is heavy but it's happy. 

I guess my view ain't so lonely anymore, right?! 

they wish they all could be California girls...

I wrote this blog originally in August 2007 before I had this blog. I thought it was appropriate to repost now. New blog to follow :)

Nowadays, when you meet people when you're out and about in LA, you ask, "where are you from?" because people that are born and raised in Los Angeles are few and far between. We few grew up in a fast paced, noisy, crowded, smoggy place that is hated but mostly, dreamed about. And yes, it lives up to the hype. I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything. I am a Hollywood baby, although I grew up in the "suburbs" (as much as you can have suburbs in southern California.) I cannot imagine growing up anywhere else. And I get made fun of constantly by friends and foes for being celebrity obsessed, a bit materialistic, a people person aka the best networker you could imagine...... My cell phone and my camera are perma-fixed to my hand and my purse (so you'd think I'd take better care of them, right?!)

I know I'm leaving, but that doesn't mean I don't love Los Angeles. I will always love Los Angeles. Oh my god, I love the nightlife... from the Frolic Room to the Underground and Busbys... Mood, Sugar.... all the spots... I love the famous dj's and random celebrity sightings. I don't mind the expensive drinks, I work around it. I love the music scene. Every little fucking thing about it, from the tiny Foundation Room above the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd to the massive Emire Polo Fields where they hold Coachella every year... From free shows at the Palladium to the Forum, the Hollywood Bowl and Verizon..... KROQ concerts, Weenie Roast, Acoustic Christmas... shows night after night at the Hotel Cafe, Santa Barbara Bowl trips midweek and Vegas shows on the weekend..... drives to 311 in Norcal, Arizona, Fresno... oh my god, haha..... Zack Hexum, Jessie Baylin, Joel Martin, Brandon Rogers, Lojic, it's really weird, because this is breaking my heart and making tears fall down my face.

On Sex And The City, Carrie once said that NYC was her boyfriend and she wasn't having anyone talking shit about it, and I feel very much the same way. I love my city, I love my state.... I won't hear it. I was raised close enough to the bright lights to respect and appreciate them. My dad brought us into the world of concerts. I was watching shows from the rail at 10 years old! I was winning tickets and passes from 12 on... I was onstage seeing Stone Temple Pilots at 15. I adore Scott Weiland and Robert Plant.... I've flown all over the country to see 311. How many people can say that they've seen all of their favorite bands live? Or that if a show is sold out, it's not a problem? That they've hung out and shared a drink with all three of their favorite bands? (311, STP, Incubus...) I worked for Army of Anyone, Robert and Dean know me.... that to me was the ultimate. I adored them as a kid, and as an adult, we got to reconnect. I am so grateful, beyond, for everything that has been given to me.

I LOVE my life. I'm a lucky bitch, and I do know that! From 311 friends, and everything that's brought me, to interning at the Firm, that experience alone has wet my feet with the industry and I like the taste. I did myspaces for Snoop Dogg, Kelly Clarkson, Enrique Iglesias, KoRn, Chris Cornell...... etc.... The question has gone from, "who have you met?" to "who HAVEN'T you met?" I took 20 friends and got to go backstage at the Snoop concert. I took my little sister to Wango Tango and we watched Kelly Clarkson, Enrique and Fergie from backstage, it was a day I'll never forget. I've turned one backstage pass into three on many occasions.... (and gotten in trouble a few...) I took 10 people in for free for 3 days of Coachella. Twice this year, as Incubus sold out shows like crazy I got tickets for my best friends, and I took one backstage for his first time. Seeing the look on his face when he was 2 feet away from his idols made me so happy. That stuff to me is a thrill. I'm don't see it as bragging, I can't even believe the shit I've lived through... I don't want to ever forget it or act like I don't appreciate every minute of it. I've had all of these experiences... next I want to share it with everyone. My dream is to make some sort of foundation where kids work with artists and you bring the world to them. I don't know how to work it out, but someday I'll do it.

In short, I love LA. If you don't, give it a chance. It's a great place to live. Hollywood is truly magical. I'm leaving, but I promise I'll be back. After all, LA is my boyfriend, where would I be without him? ;) But going to Boulder, life will slow down a little.... I'm going to learn a lot, about myself, my life... and what I really want from all of it. (And ok, Red Rocks and the Fox don't hurt.....!) I have the itch to travel, I think the next year is going to be amazing... try to keep up with me...

I'll leave you with an appropriate quote.....

"Don't you have any real friends?"~William
"Famous people are just more interesting."~Penny Lane