Friday, September 11, 2009

New York, NY

Where do I start? Goddamn, here it goes. A year ago, I was falling for this guy who I'd been crushing on for years. It wasn't supposed to go anywhere. He was a bad boy and he resisted us... even though I knew he cared. How many times before that feeeeling had come back to bite me... I cannot tell you, I don't even want to think or admit it! 

But... this crush and that friendship and my faith proved to be good things. I love this man and this man loves me. I am happy to call him my best friend and my love. I am not scared to be with him, I believe in him, I enjoy every moment with him. I adore him. And to be honest, I don't know how I did it, but sometimes I really think he now loves me more than I love him. And I fell first! It's beautiful to have someone mirror what you're feeling, every moment. 

So here I go again. This time, I'm not alone. I didn't really consider moving to Maryland because there wasn't much for me other than this man. Circumstances changed, and in a bittersweet way, WE are ending up in New York City. I am really nervous/happy/excited/scared/sad/ecstatic. Nervous because it's so big, it's so bright, it's so massive! Happy because I can't wait to be with this man, every day, every night. Excited because it's NEW YORK CITY!!!! Land of Sex And The City... THE CITY!! It's massive and amazing and beautiful and there's sooo much at our fingertips. Scared because it's a huge step, a leap of faith, a new place, a new life... Sad because I'm going to miss my dog, my sister, my parents, my life, my car, my friends, my city... Ecstatic because... NYC!!!!!! 

When shit hit the fan, I know it was going to be do or die. I wanted to do. But I wasn't planning on do-ing anything this soon. I was thinking I'd ease into a move and leave Los Angeles by October. September is such a big month and there's so much to do! But when we went to NYC over a weekend to look at places, I had a job interview and offer so amazing I could not pass up. 

So here we are. My heart is heavy but it's happy. 

I guess my view ain't so lonely anymore, right?!