Friday, July 2, 2010

I miss you.

The fun in being Bicoastal is the option to go back and forth.. always having the best of both words, never having to miss anything or anyone. 

I moved to Colorado when I was 22 for a little under a year. I loved Colorado so fiercely. I made a lot of friends fast... adopted them from a good friend. I got a little internship that was really fun and met another fun crazy group of music lovers. One soul mate sister who I haven't seen now in over a year... it's hard when you leave a place because you can't go back. It will never stay how you left it.

I took this picture the moment I decided to move to Colorado... I had no other choice :)

The funny thing about life is that you are only one person in the big crazy game of life on this huge planet... you're moving and thinking and living and millions and billions of people are doing the same thing at the same time. You meet people and take parts of them with you forever. Yet you will never ever have the same exact experience again. You will have beautiful moments but they go by so fast. You'll never get the moments back. You will never get to stand still with every single person ever again. 

It's beautiful to live and move and travel and meet people... but the sadness in it is that then you have to miss them. The thought of it takes me breath away.

Right now I feel my heart crushing me. I'm "home" but there is no such thing for me. I love being here in California, sitting on a bed I've slept in hundreds of nights... with my dog at my feet. Yet I miss my sister, 20 miles away. I miss my girlfriends because it's to late to wake them with silly thoughts or ask them to hold me while I sleep. I miss the lover who is no longer mine. Who still sleeps in my bed in my room with all of my things 3,000 miles away from here. 

I miss you.

I'm having a hard time right now dealing with distance and the things that I have decided to do. I love that I've lived... but it's really hard to have to miss people. I guess it's good to have people that you love so much that hold a part of you. Appreciate every moment and hold on to it.

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